22 September 2008

advertising slogans tongue in cheek.

I was leafing through the June issue of the economist , the topic of the cover being on energy and every major oil company had advertised. With the many casualties on Wall street, I pulled up the advertisements of the banks/financial agencies which were dead and some still trying to stay afloat. The slogans are in RED. This is what I came up with :

Location: Emergency room of the US Treasury.

The scene : loud noises, yelling and screaming for help, voices of despair filled the room, confusion in the air, running helter skelter, but no place to run !
The Securities and Exchange commission and the US Treasury was just back from the funeral of Bear Stearns.
The bruises of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were being attended to by the other members of the staff. Many parts were already in cast.

Among the rising voices we heard

Charles Schwab saying
:"it's not just money, it's people's money.” trying to be self righteous !

"True" said Lehman Brothers.
We are ranked #1" Most admired securities firm" by Fortune in 2007.
We also rank #1 in the Barron's 500 annual survey of corporate performance for the largest companies in the U.S. and Canada. - advertised on their website

Barclays answered, "How did it come to this? You have so much money you stopped caring about it?!" (Barclays bought many chunks of lehman brothers)

Merrill Lynch said,
“ We are bullish on the future. We have a tradition of trust”.

I don’t think so. Said Bank of America. We are buying you out and flashed the card
“ opportunity knocks”. Bank of America has acquired Merrill Lynch.

AIG blew its horns,
“Live longer, retire stronger. Never outlive your money. Ask Your financial advisor about AIG. We have the strength to be there.” Still trying to look strong AIG had started taking orders from the US Treasury.
The many financial agencies who took cover under AIG looked at each other helpless.

Credit Suisse
looked at Lehman Brothers with a scorn and said,
"Some think high-flyer ! We think successful business. We are thinking new perspectives".

The doors opened and in came more casualties.

Wachovia said
,"We are absolutely obsessed with satisfying our customers”

Washington Mutual,
"Thanks to our flexible bending rules. We do not nickel and dime you. We have the power to say yes. Whoo hoo!

Now the US Treasury was feeling the heat. Some members fell to the floor. Some were trying to keep standing on their feet and some others trying to look strong....

6 comments:

Vinod_Sharma said...

The way you have put it all together, they all sound like lying, cheating thugs paid obscenely to destroy the lives and livelihoods of people who bought their clever statements with near blind faith.

Anrosh said...

Vinod..and they really look "GODS" at what they are doing in their plush on and off offices.

Mavin said...

The crisis is getting worse and nobody other than Bush and Paulson seem convinced about the plan.

With Washington Mutual and Wachovia gone, much of the structure has started imploding.

Wonder what else the coming few weeks have in store.

Anrosh said...

the line will get only longer...

odzer said...

Oh dear lord these banks! I am still dealing with one of them that you did not mention and they are driving me nuts over a credit card dispute. They deserve everything that they got, Greedy Greedy pigs. Banks have forgotten that their job is to fund enterprise not become enterprise.

Anrosh said...

Odzer,there are umpteen number of mom and pop banks here in the US. Retail banks are just the face value - basically to collect money for their own investment ( Read:High risk portfolio etc etc

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